Short Story #476

Once again, I find myself alone on these same cold steps, clutching the same cigarette smoldering between these same two fingers. It never changes. You work long hours into the dead of the night, just to cook the same shit food for the same bunch of drunken scumbags and low-life who are just as miserable as yourself. Or at least that's the world I know. I look out from the back steps at the alley that has become more familiar to me than my own face. Hundreds of cigarette butts cover what's left of the cracked and crumbling pavement. I count them, sometimes, on an exceedingly slow night, never reaching more than 200 before my cigarette is ashed and I have to start all over. But I never feel lonely. My cigarette keeps me company. I think it knows it too. It seems to reach out and embrace me as the gentle plumes of gray drift lazily around my hand, up, past my face. I bring it up to my lips, savoring the last few seconds of its existence, before banishing it into the sea of its extinguished brethren. As I turn back inside, I take one final glance as the last slender plume rises up and vanishes into the night sky.

American Idol: Is There Hope For The Future of Mainstream Music?

The savior of mainstream American music may be coming from the seemingly most unlikely place: American Idol. This season, the contestants' talents showcase a wide variety of genres, from country, to R&B, to metal, to jazz. I think the fact that the finalists in this show are so different from one another really shows that America has a broader taste in music than is perceived. Mainstream "pop" has become such a cultural phenomenon that it has virtually rewritten the rules that define "good music" and replaced it with dumbed down, easily accessible beats and lyrics that often completely detract from the artistic value of what music is supposed to be. It is largely because of money that this bastardization of music has taken place. Record companies and producers take a formula that sells well, and over-produce to the point where artists are no longer writing there own songs, creative expression is no longer taking place, and the music being produced basically, well...sucks. And then it is shoved down our throats and we're expected to like it and pay money for it. Art is not about money, nor has it ever been. Many of the greatest musicians were poor most of their lives; they did what they did because they loved it, not because it was lucrative.

So anyway, back to my point. With all of the diversity of artists on such a competitive and nationally-renown show, maybe America is realizing that it is tired of the same old pop formula. Maybe it wants to get back to its roots. We created country, metal, R&B, jazz; those were our original genres, inspired by the culture of its generation. Whoever wins (personally I think Casey Abrams is the most talented artist on the show) this season of Idol will surely help the revival of good American music.

Freshman year: Long distance relationships

So I just want to take a few minutes to address an issue that I think might be fairly prevalent with a lot of college freshmen. I was commenting on another person's blog about dancing at parties with people other than your boyfriend or girlfriend. Its a tricky issue that can cause some feelings of jealousy if not properly addressed. Being in a long distance relationship requires a lot of trust and good communication. Heres my two cents:

My girlfriend and I go to college about 3 hours apart (she goes to Tech.) Both of us agreed that its ok if we go to parties and dance with other people. However, this can often cause strife (usually on the guys side.) The root cause of this issue is that a girl's intentions at a dance party are often much different that a guys. This topic that caused more than one argument between my girlfriend and I, but through good communication and trust, we've gotten better at resolving it and seeing it on the same level. Heres the main issue:

Girls go dancing at parties to have fun. They do not need to go up to a guy and ask them to dance with them. Guys come to them. Girls don't have to put any effort in to make this happen; they just dance and its not about who they are dancing with, its just about dancing itself.

Guys have a much harder time in this situation. In most cases, guys do not just go to a dance party to dance and have fun. If they are on the dance floor, they have to do all the work to find a chick and (hopefully) make her want to dance with him. Most guys aren't going to want to have to do all that work unless they are going to "get something out of it." This makes going to dance parties less fun for guys in relationships because its simply not as easy to have fun on the dance floor.

All in all, the disparity between the reasons a girl goes to parties and the reason a guy goes to parties is what causes this conflict. As a guy, its hard to understand why your girlfriend would want to dance with other guys and have fun because its not that easy for a guy in a relationship to do. To guys, its a threat because dancing is viewed sexually (which, to be fair, is a reasonable viewpoint considering the way people dance today.) To a girl however, dancing is not usually viewed sexually, but it is just a way to have fun: no sexual intentions are there.

If this is a problem in your long distance relationship, my best advice is sit your boyfriend down and explain and really convince him that you don't have any sexual intentions when you dance with other guys, that to girls it is merely dancing. Tell him that you would much rather dance with him than anyone else; that you feel much safer and more comfortable with him than without him. Tell him that you think about him when you are on the dance floor and wish it was him you are with. (Maybe even tell him that you only find dancing sexual when its with him.) These are all things my girlfriend said that made me feel better about it. Other than that, he will have to accept the fact that guys and girls are just different in this area. Also tell him to go out and dance with other girls because you want him to have fun and you trust him. It definitely helped me to get over this by dancing with other girls. It helps restore your manhood, and that is something very important to every guy.

Love vs. The Universe, Pt. 2

That summer was like a wake up call for my soul. I still did not understand the full extent of what had happened on that fateful day, but I believe that emotions are the realest form of truth, if you interpret them correctly. The weeks after we met were some of the most thrilling times in my life. Except this was different. This wasn’t just some summer crush, nor was it just an exciting escape from the heavy, monotonous drone of summer that seeps into you like the hot and humid air. No, this feeling inside me persisted long after the season began to change. If lust is like the weather, love is more like the climate: You have hot days and cold days but over time, the climate remains steady.

Unfortunately, the weather became very rough indeed. Timing was the first obstacle to try and stop this love before it began. Perhaps it was a test, or perhaps the Universe just wanted to play a cruel joke on me, I may never know. But the first girl I truly was in love with was unavailable to me. In fact, she had just gotten back together with her high school boyfriend of three years when I met her. God only knows where I would be now if we had met just a week earlier, but I can only believe that things happen for a reason. On the surface, I realized that I would just be wasting my time trying to pursue this girl, but emotions are a strange and powerful thing, and something inside of me told me that what I felt was more than just lust or desire. So, I had to settle on a friendship. And we rapidly became good friends. It was almost as if we had known each other all of our lives. I had never felt more comfortable sharing myself with anyone else before. Band practice began to play a central roll in my life. Not only was this time the best the band had ever played, but I also had this exhilarating little secret to look forward to each time. I couldn’t get enough. I could only hope that she felt the same way.

To be continued...